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Hi NGTrends Readers,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. The first two years of our relationship were great. He was always very calm, even when he was upset, loving, and gentle. However, he has hit me four times in this past year. He has been though a lot this past year and has become a lot more aggressive. He lost his father and has to take care of his brother who relasped, so I understand this is probably just a coping mechanism.
The first time it happened he was ignoring me and watching football. I was upset about something and trying to talk to him so I unplugged the television. I realize this is pretty dumb to do and he started screaming and slapped me (not very hard) but immediately started bawling and apologizing.
The second time he was insanely drunk and punched me in the side. It was pretty hard but he was so wasted he didn’t even remember the next day and cried when he saw the bruises and felt terrible.
The third time I had just gotten back from a night out with my girlfriends. We got into an argument before I left so I ignored his texts all night because I was annoyed with him. When I got home he was super pissed I didn’t text him back (which I shouldn’t have done, I knew it would bother him). We started fighting and he got really close to me and was screaming so I pushed him away (pretty hard too) and he slapped me. It really hurt this time but he apologized.
This last time was last night. We were fighting in the car. I tried to leave and he grabbed my arm really hard. I couldn’t break away so I hit him and he gripped the back of my head by my hair and banged my head against the dash. After that he pulled my head back up and punched me. We made up afterwards but he very cold about it. He didn’t apologize or seem remorseful.
I feel really weird about the whole thing. I now have a black eye and bruised forehead. I talked to him about it this morning and he just sort of felt like he was justified since I hit him. I didn’t hit him hard at all though, and he has no marks.
He is not abusive by any means, but I’m afraid he is becoming that way. Are things going to get worse from here or will they go back to how they were before?