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Hi NGTrends Readers,
I guess I’ll try to make a long story short. Married almost 4 years now. 2 children (toddler and infant). We have been fighting a lot lately. Mostly about not having s8x. That’s basically her biggest complaint. Easy fix, right? Well the issue is she isn’t very pleasant all the time. Unless something is done exactly how she would want it. She scolds or berates. If I say something she doesn’t like or how I say it, same thing. It’s like walking on egg shells around her. Has been for years. She will belittle (calling me stupid or an idiot, etc). Honestly, it’s like having a boss at work that you cringe every time you do something because you know it isn’t going to be right. That boss that you are like it’s going to be a good day when they are off. But then I’m expected to have s8x with this same boss. (I like to use a lot of metaphors, please excuse them).
And I have brought this up, not the boss metaphor but the details. She places blame on me, saying it’s the lack of intimacy that has caused her to act like this and be this way. Now, the question is what came first the chicken or the egg? I don’t excuse myself, i could have done and could do a better job being intimate with her. But it’s hard because she always has a bad attitude. She gives little attention.
This has been discussed also. Numerous times. Most me acknowledging that I need to do better that I need to do this and that. All that I ever ask of her is to be open minded. To let some of that guard or whatever down and just be caring and loving.
I try to great her when she comes home from work, I try to kiss I get a peck. I try to hold and hug, I get brushed off. I try to make sure dinner is ready, that she has a full drink, that the house is clean and everything that comes with that. In hopes that she will come home to a clean and calm environment and not be in her bad mood.
But she is. She nit picks everything I do. Finds things wrong it feels. 10 things right doesn’t say a word, but if I order Chips or crispy chicken while out to eat she rolls her eyes and has shit to say about it (we are both trying to eat better and healthier, but I’m weak sometimes but promise I’m really putting a good effort in). I’m very forgetful, so when I ask if an up coming doctor’s appointment is for XYZ she gets mad and calls me dumb or an idiot for forgetting it’s about ABC (obviously I’m pulling from some recent specific events, please excuse me).
After all that, which I attribute to a typical day, after all the kids are sleeping and it’s time to get in bed, I’m suppose to be in the mood, come into her, and make sweet love to her. (Sorry for the sarcasm). It just doesn’t happen. I can’t find myself turned on and wanting to have s8x with “the boss that is never happy with your work). And the times we do end up having s8x, she says it’s only because we just talked about it, or I’m only doing it because it was an issue. No, I wouldn’t have s8x unless I wanted it. Those days were either good days (very very few and far between) or after we talked about the issues and the feeling of closeness and togetherness was there. (She turns it down on the few occasions I do try because she says it not genuine)
Now she is talking that well because of the kids I’m gonna stay with you but don’t be surprised if I cheat or do XYZ.
I love this woman and our family. I do make an effort but her’s always remains the same and nothing gets accomplished and i just fall back to what I was doing before (getting talked down to, called names, and not being intimate with her)
I know this is long and if anyone made it this far, I appreciate your time. I feel like I can’t talk with any of my family or friends because I don’t want expose the problems we are having, the Internet however allows me to be anonymous.
Any suggestions or help would be so very welcomed.