From a Female NGTrends reader. Remember you can share your stories with us for advice from fellow NGTrends readers. To Share Your Story send us a mail today to [email protected] We will try our possible best to respond to all your mails, so keep them coming. Thanks
Hi NGTrends Readers,
This may sound stupid but how do you know when ‘enough is enough’? I have a very weird and imo, an unhealthy relationship with my ex boyfriend. I call it a ‘flirtaship’ , we are not in a relationship but we still share a very strong emotional connection, we confide in each other, etc. We’ve both made it clear we still love each other and have feelings. The thing is….he doesn’t do (or wants to do) anything about it. He says a lot of stuff, but his actions don’t match up. The old phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ comes to mind in this situation.
He’s dated a couple of people since we broke up. He is currently with someone who he himself tells me he feels -nothing- for her, and that she barely even talks to him or ever wants to spend time with him. But he doesn’t want to leave her…he says he still wants to give her a chance. This makes 0 sense to me and it’s like he doesn’t have answers for this.
So I’ve told him I don’t feel comfortable with our friendship when he’s with someone else, because I have feelings for him. I’m someone who is very open and honest about my feelings, and I’ve told him exactly how I felt, so it’s not like he’s getting mixed signals from me. I also don’t understand this relationship he has, I mean he straight out told me, in his words, that he feelings nothing for her and their relationship and that he cares more about me, but then he says he wants to stay with her because she’s nice and wants to give it more of a chance. So I’ve been basically holding onto someone who doesn’t know what they want and is kind of all over the place. It took me a long time to realize this wasn’t good. He swears up and down he has feelings for me and all this, but he doesn’t want to jump back into something with me, and he still wants to try things with the person he’s dating it seems. I dont think he intentionally is trying to play me, but that’s how this makes me feel. And when I tell him this he gets upset and says things like “well if you feel that way about me then I’ll stop trying to keep you in my life” really not cool. I’ve known him for a very long time and spent a lot of great memories with him, but now things are obviously different. So how do you know when it’s time to just give up for good, or keep trying and thinking one day things will change? And when I say give up for good I mean he’s out of my life completely and I’m never looking back, so this is serious for me.