They say it is very hard to find a good man or good woman. But I believe the difficulty is not WHO or WHAT we are looking for, it’s WHERE,
WHEN and HOW we are looking for them.
Finding someone who you love and will love you too is one of the main interests of many in the world today. Sadly, many go at it the wrong way, in wrong places and at the wrong times. I guess this is also when we prove to ourselves how mature we truly are. However, finding someone who you will love and will love you back is not a matter of trying to prove anything to yourself or anybody, it’s a matter of finding a person who you cherish, and you also are cherished by them.
WHERE: When I say finding, I don’t mean you start looking for places to go to find love. Some people go to parties, church meetings, weddings and different occasions with the intent to find love. They spend a great deal of time going to places they believe they can find a life partner. First of all, you don’t go any where with the intention to find a lover, it is not the right approach. The truth is, when you are in the right frame of mind, being the best you can be and enjoying living your life, love will find you. Therefore, the place to find love isn’t necessarily a physical place but a place within yourself. It doesn’t matter where you go physically to find love, if you have not come to those three aspects within yourself, you won’t find what you need. But when you have those three aspects going for you, you’d discover that this place within you will attract love to you in any physical place. Love should never be something we are looking for, but rather something we attract.
WHEN: Many relationships start prematurely, reasons because we fail to give time to study ourselves and what we truly want from a partner. So we find ourselves going from one regretful relationship experience to another. You deserve better, and you can do better. Someone asked, “When is the right time to fall in love with someone?” But can you really tell exactly when you fall in love? The truth is, since it’s a thing of the heart, you can never really tell when, it just happens and then you realize, “I think i’m in love”. However, you can know when you are ready to be loved. So when you are ready to be loved, how do you know if that’s the right time for you? There are three questions you must ask yourself and have a definite answer to each one to figure that out.
First, am I mature enough as a person? This has to do with your character, financial stability, and also being emotionally stable. There is more I can say about these three but it will take another note to break these down. You must be prepared for love. Love is not the only thing you need for a successful relationship or a love life. If it was, we would have plenty success with relationships everywhere and I wouldn’t be writing this note. Lol. Make your love life much easy by preparing yourself for love. You will avoid a lot mistakes others have made if you would take your time to build on yourself for love. So that when you do fall in love, you would know what to do to handle the experience responsibly.
The next question to ask is: Do I know what I want and what’s best for me? I know many high school kids think they do because they are in love. Sadly even many adults think they know what they want and what’s best for them? But I bet if I ask many of them, “what is your purpose”, majority of them haven’t even thought about it. What does that have to do with what you want and what’s best for you? Think about it, can anyone or anything truly satisfy what you want or be what’s best for you if it has nothing to do with why you were born? Your purpose is truly you. When you aren’t aware of your purpose, falling in love is meaningless. Anyone one who falls in love with you must fall in love with your purpose. The reality is, you are inseparable from your purpose. If you are in love without knowing your purpose in life, being in love won’t really make you feel fulfilled. So the right to time to be ready to be loved would be when you believe you know what you were born to do. Purpose is Everything; Even in your love life! Once you put a check mark on your purpose, you will definitely know what you want and what’s best for you. Trust me!
The last question is: Who am I? This question should get you to think about what you have to offer. What defines you? What do you have to offer to anyone who will love you. I know many people don’t think much about what they are bringing into a relationship, instead they think about what they are getting out from it? Someone says “I’m looking for somebody to complete me.” Honestly, this is one of the most selfish and most irresponsible statement I’ve ever heard. What do you have to offer?? If you don’t know who you are, you can never really tell what you can bring into any relationship. Be prepared to offer much more than physical appearance, swag, or even just money. Can your life truly impact and improve the one you will be in a relationship with? Food for thought…I’ll stop here for this one. Think about these questions though.
HOW: It’s so funny how many people try to find the love of their lives. Some try too hard and some not hard enough. The idea is to always keep your approach simple. You never want to come of as desperate or as unserious. Basically, be yourself and love or enjoy being you. Whatever you are insecure or uncomfortable about, do your best to fix it, but if you can’t, work it. You do so by accepting it, making a decision not to change it and then celebrate it. This should help you feel more confident about yourself before you are ready to be loved. If you fall in love without becoming comfortable with yourself, I promise you that it will keep coming up as an issue in your relationship. Get secure in yourself and you will secure your any relationship you chose to be in.
If you have these things figured out, I dare to tell you, you won’t need to look for love, but love will find you. You’ll find that when all these things are set in your life, you become more and more attractive to the right person for you. This way love finds you and you stop struggling to find the right person. There is so much to share on this topic, but digest this in the meantime. ￼
Love & Blessings