This is a joke anyway but Nigerians are very creative. If someone can sit down an write this kind of Tutorial on how to mess in public and retain one’s image, he should be a good tutor.
Here it goes:
My peoples, to mess for public dey sweet but if dem catch u, no be small embarrassment o! Just follow dis guidelines and u are on ur way to being a star in dis profession.
1. When u enter a hall, check d wind direction, if na closed hall with AC, better. Maximum impact.
2. Make sure say u sidon face d wind direction.
3. Make sure say u get enough leg space. U go soon knw why.
4. Form ajebo by crossing ur legs every now and then.
5. U don ready to execute, try hold am until time wey d hall dey noisy incase ur mess na d type wey dey sound like AK47.
6. Now carefully cross ur leg, right over left.
7. Elevate d right yansh lobe.
8. Release small (sound check)
9. If no sound, allow make d mess flow steady.
10. Allow time for proper circulation.
E com get warnings o…
1. Make sure say no be u be d first person to complain. 2. When ppl begin dey shout say e no go better for d person wey do dis kind thing, simply ask “why person no fit respect d presence of odas na?”
3. No hala pass odas if not u go bcom suspect.
4. Take style disengage frm d area, relocate to another zone and repeat d exercise.
Have fun guys.