I got this joke as a broadcast on my Blackberry Messenger and I thought I should share it. This might not be unconnected with the latest universities ranking that goes thus:The top five Universities in Nigeria are;
1. University of Benin – Uniben
2. University of Agriculture Abeokuta – Unaab
3. University of Ibadan – UI
4. University of Nigeria – UNN
5. Obafemi Awolowo University
In Africa, six South African Universities topped the list with University of Cape Town taking the number 1 position. UNIBEN comes in 22nd, UNAAB on the 35th and UI is 38th on the list.
Now people are making joke out of that. Enjoy it!
If FOOTBALL CLUBS were to be Academic Institutions in Nigeria then:
Arsenal = FUTO: where the students work hard through out the year but fail to succeed.
Manchester City = IGBINEDION: where the students purchase all the expensive items and live large but are never interested in dere primary assignment.
Liverpool = UNILAG / MAULAG: where the students are very much proud of the academic achievements of dere grand fathers.
Manchester United = UNIILORIN: where students don’t perform well in class except dere final exams and achieve good results.
Chelsea = OSU where students fail and put the blame on dere VC after which, d government will intervene to find a new VC for the skul every year.
R.Madrid = UI where students think dey perform best and keep beefing d best students of other schools.
Barcelona = UNAAB where students work hard, perform well in class and achieve d best result in the whole country.
A girl posted an advertisement in the paper for a husband, saying: “I need a person who will never leave me, never beat me and can satisfy me in bed.”
Next day, a guy with no arms and legs knocked at her door.
Girl:who are you?
Guy: I want to be your husband.
Girl:you don’t fit for that.
Guy:I don’t have arms, so I can’t beat u. I don’t have legs, so I can’t leave you. . !
Girl: But how can you satisfy me in bed?
Guy:How do you think I knocked the door.
An Igbo man, Yoruba man and Hausa man who were lost in a forest n were captured by cannibals. The king of d cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
The 1st step was to go deep into d forest n get the (10) pieces of d same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The yoruba man came back n said to d king, “i brought ten (10) apples”, d king explained d trial to him, ‘you have to swallow d fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed.
The 1st apple went in, but on d 2nd one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The igbo man arrived n showed d king ten (10) berries. When d king explained d trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy….1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 n on d ninth (9th) berry, he burst out in laughter n was killed.
The yoruba man n igbo man met in heaven. The yoruba man asked, “why did you laugh?”, you almost got away with d trial”….the igbo man replied, “I couldn’t help it, I saw the hausa man coming with Watermelons!!!